¡Ombligo!

Tonight's episode of Will & Grace was the taping that my parents attended, the one with Britney Spears. This was taped back in February, the week of valentine's.

They got to stay at the Renaissance Hollywood Hotel and because the day of the taping was changed at the last minute, they were there for an additional day.

They had a blast on the trip but mentioned that the taping took forever so it got annoying after a while.

Blame it on Britney!

Honeysuckle is one of those floral notes I always enjoy finding in other fragrances. Too often I find it paired up with other notes to make it sweeter than it needs to be so I was hoping that Demeter's version fulfill what I was looking for.

Described as: We wanted this to be the scent of driving by the honeysuckle in June. Honeysuckle 45mph? Our co-founder Christopher Gable remembers this from his childhood in the Princeton, NJ area (yes, there are beautiful honeysuckle strewn lawns in New Jersey!).

Botanically, honeysuckle is the common name for some members of the Caprifoliaceae, a family comprised mostly of vines and shrubs of the Northern Hemisphere, especially abundant in E Asia and E North America. One of the best-known North American species of the true honeysuckles (genus Lonicera) is the trumpet honeysuckle (L. sempervirens), an evergreen plant with fragrant, trumpet-shaped scarlet blossoms that forms the basis for the Demeter Fragrance Library honeysuckle.

Aromatherpists and Homeopathic practitioners believe that the essential oil of Honeysuckle is anti-microbial and works against salmonella, staphylococcus, and streptococcus, as well as an antibiotic against colds, flu's, fevers, sore throats, conjunctivitis and inflammations of the bowel, urinary tract and reproductive organs. At Demeter, we only guarantee the great smell.

Demeter's Honeysuckle has just the perfect balance of sweetness, I detect the smallest tinge of citrus in here. Overall it's really stunning and so true to the flower. One major drawback is that it's incredibly light, too light. I wore this out to dinner on Saturday on a night that wasn't too cool nor too warm. I sprayed myself at least eight times (which is far more than I usually spray), I even applied it in my hair and nobody could detect it on me.

It was far too soft until I took a shower that night, once the heat of the water warmed my skin the most glorious honeysuckle filled my nose. I think this would probably wear better on days where it's much warmer outside, late spring to early summer.

Demeter Honeysuckle retails for $19/1 oz.

My weight stayed exactly the same this week - nothing gained, nothing lost. I did put in a lot of effort this week and maybe I could have put in a bit more, I really don't know. I still have over a week of the higher dosage of Synthroid left so my levels are still off until I start the new dosage and that could attribute to my not losing any weight this week. I'm going to put more effort this week as I want to see some change from this week to the next.

Weight Watchers gave me the usual message:
It's natural to have mixed feelings on these weeks when the scale remains the same. On one hand, you might be a little disappointed that you didn't lose weight, but on the other, you're just thankful that you haven't gained!

Blah, Blah, Blah!

SI Report: It's taken a long time to get to the point where I'm able to talk about being a self injurer. My decision to not keep it a secret came three years ago when I was first diagnosed with Graves which in so many ways, was the lowest point in my life. For a long time there I refused to put up a fight for my life but when I got to that absolute low, it was up to me to give up then and there or make a change and be the absolute best I can be.

It was and still is so hard to talk, especially given the fact that there are so many misunderstandings about it. Self injury has been my coping mechanism for so long that I worry that I don't know any other way of dealing with issues. A negative coping mechanism certainly and one that so many people in my life have questioned how I could gain any relief from causing myself pain. That's a question that I sometimes find hard to answer but I wonder how different it is as opposed to those who use other negative coping mechanisms to deal with issues, such as drinking excessively and the like. Such a different way to numb the pain, still negative but somewhat more acceptable in our society.

Because I've been able to talk about it more freely so many people assumed that I stopped injuring myself which wasn't and still isn't the case. It's been over a month now since I last injured myself but it's something I am faced with every day.

Sometimes it's a specific situation that will cause me to injure myself and sometimes it's a build up of different situations. For me, it feels like a ball of fire within my soul, contently building and each negative situation makes it stronger and stronger until it explodes. Once it explodes it feels like my world is falling apart, I'm falling apart and in that moment I need to let all the negativity out of my body. So, I injure myself to let go of all that pain and immediately after I've done so I feel instantly better. This weekend, a new friend and fellow self-injurer reached out to me she pointed out this article and brought up the fact that endorphins are released when we injure ourselves.

Sadly, it's a temporary solution for a permanent problem. Afterward, not only do you have to deal with the fact that you've repeated the cycle once again but you also have to go though the process of healing your body as well. I injure mostly the areas of my body that can be hidden from plain view as it's such a mark of shame but there are instances where I've gone so over the top that my injuries are in plain view of everyone that I can't hide them.

So much shame, too much shame that I need to be free of it all. Talking about it for me helps so much, it's one step in slowly taking back my life. I truly believe that it's never to late too become the person you always wanted to be. I'm slowly gaining ground there and taking back my life because I'm worth it.

Taken from Miriam Mirani's Aqaba website.

If I could have re-chosen my signature 2005 autumn fragrance I would have chosen the original Aqaba as I wore that far more often than I did my original choice of Nanadebary Bronze.

Aqaba never seems to fail me and the more I wear it, the more I love it which got me to thinking, maybe I'd like Aqaba Spring just as much.

Aqaba Spring is described as: An exquisite, fresh experience, in fields of flowers. Top notes evoke a gentle breeze of Mandarin Orange with flower buds of Black Currants and biblical Cinnamon; as middle notes of nightblooming Egyptian Jasmine blend with multitudes of the Queen of Flowers: Roses of Damask, Morroc and Turkish Rose. Flowers of Peach and Apricot flow into a long-lasting dry-down of clove-pink buds and Vanilla-Bourbon.

It opens up with a burst of spiciness but after time reveals the floral and fruity notes. There is a sweetness to this fragrance but I wouldn't really classify it as a sweet fragrance as the scent really changes as the day goes on. The most predominant floral note on me is the jasmine and the dry down is a pale fruity scent.

Layers, it's all about the layers! Out here, early spring is a transitional season. Early in the morning and late at night, it's still relatively cold so you have to dress in layers. You'll want to skip the coat or the long sleeve shirts because by mid-morning, you're sweating your ass off.

That's where Aqaba Spring is perfect as it's a layered fragrance that changes as the day goes on. It doesn't hurt that the lasting power is quite strong on me.

Aqaba Spring retails for $125/3.3 oz, $85/1.7 oz. or $55/1 oz. and is available direct through the Aqaba website or LuckyScent

Happy Spring!

I have a lot of goals for Spring - A LOT!

I want to be more organized this season and want to start up things I didn't quite finish, mainly learning how to knit and starting up on the guitar. Baby steps, baby steps! Come late spring I have a major/minor goal that I'm hoping to attempt.

I have a bit of a black thumb when it comes to gardening and the only things that I don't seem to kill are herbs. Last year I didn't plant anything and none of my herbs came back so I had an herbless summer! Not to be confused with a cruel summer. I'm going to try to plant some herbs this weekend, hopefully they'll grow!

Last spring, I chose Serge Lutens' A La Nuit as my signature spring fragrance. It was rather lovely and will always be associated with Spring 2005. I've done rather well with my other choices: Summer 2005 - SMN Melograno and Winter 2005: Parfums Delrae Bois de Paradis.

My autumn choice of Nanandebary Bronze was a hasty one as it didn't call to me as my previous ones did so I thought long and hard about my signature 2006 Spring fragrance and settled on.....Aqaba Spring!

Yay, Aqaba Spring!

As far as color goes, I'm feeling a pale purple for this season. It seems like such a wuss color but I'm seeing it everywhere and loving it! I think I need a pale purple scarf and some pale purple rings!

Here's hoping that this spring is filled with only beautiful things for everyone!

Speaking of beautiful things:

Gyllenhaal, Clooney, Hoffman, Ledger and Phoenix at the 2006 Oscars.

I'm so disappointed in myself, from this week to last I gained a pound. The past three weeks I haven't been paying attention to my intake and have been rather lax on exercising. I turned things around this week and have exercised every day so far.

As a kid I watched a lot of soap operas and when they'd replace a character with another actor they'd announce "The part of _______ will now be portrayed by __________." before the scene where they introduced that actor to the show.

Why can't that happen in real life, where someone takes over for a bit while you get things in order? I feel like I've fallen backwards these past three weeks and it's going to take some time to catch up.

Anyhow, this is what Weight Watchers had to say on the matter:
GREAT JOB for logging your weight! We notice that you've gained a little this week. You should know that gaining weight every now and then is a natural part of the weight-loss journey.

In other news, my sister read on here the whole admission to my not being tested for Thalassemia. She was going over the symptoms and got me freaking out because I exhibit some of those symptoms.

Then again, my sister is a bit of a hypochondriac and has a tendency to believe she's got every illness known (and a few unknown) to man. Then, she tries to get others to believe they too have the same illnesses.

Self Injury (SI) Report:

Last week wasn't too bad until Friday came along. On Friday I was incredibly frustrated over relatively minor situations and while the desire (probably not the right word) to hurt myself was rather high, I didn't give into the trigger(s).

It was really hard because I've been trying to apply breathe therapy any time the desire to injure myself arises. And for the most part it works, for minor issues. It's when major things arise or a compound of minor things builds up, when it fails to help me. That's what I need to work on more.

How SI has affected my family:

I was five the first time I was caught injuring myself. My mom would fix my hair in the morning and one particular morning I hated how she fixed it (I always hated how she fixed it) so I started messing it up and yanking on it, then I started punching myself in the stomach and that was when she caught me (my mom) and she said "What are you doing? Why are you doing that? Do you want us to spank you?"

Thing is after I injure myself, it's like I'm fine (again not the right word) because afterwards the negative energy is out of my body. Sometimes its a series of injuries that builds up to that point but once it's out, I feel better.

So, I remember feeling fine after I was caught. I mean, I acted like nothing had happened and went on to school but kept it "secret" after that incidence.

Problem was that it wasn't a secret, my family knew about it but it was never talked about. I think my parents expected me to grow out of this behavior. You know how toddlers throw themselves on the floor when they don't get what they want? Well, they expected me to grow out of this behavior after adolescence. In all honesty, my mom is still waiting for me to grow out of it. She sees me as an overdramatic drama queen - which I won't deny, as I am for certain things - but SI is one thing that you don't just grow out of.

There wasn't much known about SI when I was little, I was in high school the first time I had ever heard about cutters and that was when I realized that I wasn't alone. Only within the last three years have I decided to be more vocal about my issues with SI.

Recently, my dad has mentioned his regret in not having sought out help for me in my childhood but like I said, so little was known about it that I'm not sure if it could have made a difference. The one person I've been incredibly open about my SI is my sister. We talk about it in some detail, what happened and why mainly.

I think my family feels that I'm angry at them for not getting me help but the truth is I'm angry at myself for having let both my issues (weight and SI) to control my life.

I always thought that it was my secret issue to deal with but I've come to realize how much it's affected my family. I feel like the most selfish person in the world because of my issues with SI and as a result, I try to over compensate for being such a failure as a person.

V'Tae Sacred Fire is described as:

The fire of desire sets your spirits free in one of our most popular, provocative scents. A magical mix of essential oils, resins, & balsams. (Sacred Fire fused amber (made with labdanum, rose, jasmine, strayx & vanilla) with sandalwood, davana, rare osmanthus, frankincense, Himalayan cedar, & coriander). The result is a fragrance, old as time, yet sophisticated, contemorary & confident!

I ordered V'Tae Sacred Fire Eau de Parfum unsniffed based reviews from fellow Piment et Chocolat lovers as they mentioned that the two smelled similar.

How similar do they smell?

Well, Sacred Fire isn't an exact replica of Piment et Chocolat rather, Sacred Fire smells a lot like the drydown of Piment et Chocolat. If you strip off the chocolate and the chile spices from Piment et Chocolat, that's what Sacred Fire smells like.

I guess it could be described as a spicy amber that's sweetenend with vanilla but there's more.

For years now I've searched for a fragrance that smells like the air outside when people burn cedar firewood. I can't pinpoint it and maybe it's the mixture of incense and cedar but I swear I can smell a bit of smoky cedar firewood in here. At times throughout the day I could detect a very soft jasmine in here.

One major drawback is that Sacred Fire starts off incredibly strong but dries down relatively fast.

Sacred Fire retails for $25/2 oz. but you can order it for $15 through the Amazon link for Vitaminlife.com.

I have the dullest hair in the world, dirt has more shine than my hair does!

When a box of Clairol Natural Instincts Shine Happy arrived two weeks ago I hoped it would be the answer to hairy issues. It's applied to damp hair and you apply it as you would hair color, leave on for 20 minutes and rinse it out.

Does it work?

Well, it left some shine and left my hair silky soft but it also stripped off my last hair color application. Before my last color application I had colored it black and you can't die over black so my naturally dark brown hair turned red but only on the sections that had not been colored black.

Needless to say I was frustrated but walked around with my tri-color hair that was very soft and semi-shiny for a week until I couldn't take it anymore!

Sunday night I decide to do something radical and chop it off into a bob. I was in college the first time I cut it in a bob and while I thought I looked ultra chic, my sister said I looked like George Washington.

Fine, whatever! Not to mention that I have Buddha hair! My hair is so thin that if you look at me directly and I have my chin pointed down a bit - I look like Buddha!

Still, in my mind I'm sure I can somehow look like Faye Dunaway as Bonnie and make it work.

Mind you, I have no experience in cutting my own hair but start hacking away at it anyhow. It's totally uneven and the more I cut, the more uneven it is! My hair is just one big choppy mess and instead of looking all Bonniesque I end up looking like Shaggy from Scooby Doo!


Monday morning I woke up half hoping it was a dream but it wasn't and I'm stuck with my Shaggy Buddha hair for a while.

Ah, it's only hair and it'll grow back!

Before I was diagnosed with Graves the majority of my hair fell out and I looked like a balding Billy Ray Cyrus with the mullet, so my Shaggy Buddha hair is still better than that look!

On the other hand, Achy Breaky Heart is long overdue for a comeback!

*Bummer of a check-in so please skip if you're vulnerable to sadness*

From last week to this one I gained 1.2 lbs! I'm not sure if it's because of the cookie binge I went on lathe week before, if it's because my thyroid is wonky or if it's something else. I exercised five out of the seven days and stuck to my points so there wasn't a reason to gain any weight this week.

This past week I went in for my three month check up, I had gone in for bloodwork two weeks ago and once again my levels are too high! I was on Sythroid 125 and recently refilled my prescription so I have to alternate between a full and a half tablet every other day and once those run out I'll then be on Synthroid 112. The good news is that my levels aren't as high as they were last time and I don't have to go back for another six months! Progress baby!

The bad news, I wasn't tested for thalassemia (genetic anemia that my mom & sister have). My sister asked me if I had been tested for it and I lied and told her I forgot. The truth was I didn't forget! I've just been incredibly stressed lately and am not in a place where I could deal with the possibly bad news, mainly because I'm not quite ready to move on to the second phase of this whole movement process.

In all honesty, it's not that bad of an issue and thalassemia isn't a life threatening disease but I just didn't want to know my status right now.

Seriously, my inability to be tested for it challenges this whole movement in my life that I'm trying to attempt. I am such a wuss! I am incredibly disappointed in myself but will make sure I'm tested for it at the next checkup.

The phase 2 process of this whole movement thing is dealing with my self-injury which I've mentioned here before and talked about a bit on Trina's blog. It's an incredibly painful issue to discuss and certainly one that I'd like to avoid all together but I've come to realize that I'm doing more damage holding these emotions in.

Today's episode of Oprah goes into detail about one woman's struggle with self injury. I've seen this issue before and found it far too painful to watch as I recognize so much of myself in that woman's behavior. There is one scene where she says "One more time and I'll be fine." I've been there so many times and have spoken those exact words.

Avoidance will not make the problem go away, I know that. In so many ways I'm afraid that I'm not strong enough to deal with these all these issues, both why I became a self injurer and how I've allowed self-injury to consume my life.

So, that's where I'm at and what I'm dealing with.

Twenty minutes ago I thought cutting my own hair was a great idea!

BIG MISTAKE!

*scarf purchased through Laura's Knittage, Toys, and Other Joys which was hand knitted by Laura Su who is also a freelance illustrator and jewelry designer.*

I was in a serious need of a pick me up last week and ordered this True Blue Dream of Sky scarf.

Friday morning I was angry at myself because I lost over $50 worth of credit on iTunes.

I am such an ass, I thought the credit expired on March 31st - wrong! The gift certificate expired on THE FIRST of March!

Why doesn't iTunes give you a heads up e-mail or something as to when it expires?!?! Ugh!!!

I swear, sometimes I'm such a freakin' moron!

So, I was all upset over that but it was my own stupidity which caused it so I couldn't be mad at anyone else but myself.

Fine, whatever!

So, I was ready to wallow in my self pity once again when by magic my True Blue Dream of Sky scarf arrived!

Yay! Right?

No! The last couple of days it's been freakin' over 80° so Ihaven't even worn the scarf!

I had a serious case of the winter blues!

I re-named my scarf WINTER BLUES because it was still winter and I couldn't wear it!

Come yesterday where I won a $10 gift certificate to iTunes! *which I'm going to redeem before it expires, thank you very much*

Then today all the sudden out of the BLUE *winks* a cold front moved in! It's going to stick around for a week!

For a whole week I get to wear my scarf!

Things are looking up!

Up like the sky which happens to be...

BLUE!

Grace Kelly at the Academy Awards
Grace Kelly attends the 28th annual Academy Awards ceremony in her final appearance before leaving Hollywood to marry Prince Rainier of Monaco. Kelly, who won the Best Actress Oscar last year, will present the Best Actor Oscar at the ceremony. Image: © Bettmann/CORBIS Date Photographed: March 22, 1956

The dress, the dress, the dress!

But what about the bags?

Kiera Knightly


Karolina Kurkova


Salma Hayek


Maggie Gyllenhaal


Jennifer Aniston


Judi Dench


Diane Kruger


Jane Seymour


Bahar Soomekh


Naomi Watts


Terrence Howard


Taraji P. Henson


Helena Bonham-Carter


Ziyi Zhang


Nicole Kidman


Michelle Williams


Jennifer Jason Leigh

I like guarantees in life! I like things to be an exact way! I expect to receive specific outcomes everytime I put in so much effort!

I don't understand how there are weeks that I lose miniscule amounts or even nothing. Those are the weeks where I'm busting my ass accounting for every single piece of food that I eat or I'm sobbing through an entire workout because I can't take it anymore!

I didn't eat too badly this past week minus the fact that I did happen to eat a fair share of Girl Scout Cookies. Add on to that the fact that I only logged in one hour on the treadmill the entire week! I don't understand how it happened but somehow I lost exactly two pounds this week!

Seriously, how is it possible when I turned into evil demented child of Cookie Monster and Jabba the Hutt I lose two pounds!

I got the same usual message when I logged in my weight:

WAY TO GO! Congratulations for losing weight this week. We hope you're thrilled with the result. Here's a quote by Aristotle that we thought might strike a chord with you: "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit."

Keep practicing your excellence and have a great week

I don't get it!?!?! I seriously don't get it and this aggravates the hell out of me!

A new week, a change to right all wrongs and do better than last week. Watch me gain four back by busting my ass on the treadmill!

On this Oscar night I didn't hear anyone ask what fragrance the stars were wearing! This drama queen had on Maybe Baby as the weather is getting a bit warm.

I was rather disappointed in the choice of gowns on the runway tonight but these were my favorites:



I must admit I didn't like Reese's dress on television, the lights made it rather pale and seem almost colorless. The pictures however brought out so much of the colors and detail. Gorgeous dress and it fit her beautifully! Her earrings were so perfect, flawless makeup and I loved her hair! Perfect gown to accept and Oscar in!



Salma! I love Salma! I think this dress was televised better than it was photographed on the red carpet. She's rather short and has a very curvaceous figure, very non-hollywood who always looks incredible on the red carpet. Love everything: the hair, makeup, color and style of the dress. To top things off, she's got a great personality and is incredibly humble - very non-hollywood indeed!



I like Keira Knightley, she seems rather grounded and has a brilliant future ahead of her. I loved her gown, especially loved the design and fit of the gown. The color seemed a bit too dark on television, I thought it was a chocolate brown color at first. . Once I saw the photographs of it I loved the gown even more! And that necklace! OMG, that necklace is AMAZING!

The one thing that really bothered me was her makeup, seems like her foundation and/or powder were slightly lighter in comparison to the rest of her skin. It may just have been the lighting as it's not as noticeable in other pictures. I loved the rest of her makeup, smoky eyes look really good on her.



I can't believe that Michelle Williams had a baby recently! *sobs* Life is so unfair! She looks incredible, that gown is fabulous and fits her beautifully! Great choice of color! I loved her makeup, especially the lashes.

I loved her necklace! Not as nice as Kiera's, but still fabulous!

"George Clooney's like a Chanel suit, he'll always be in style" - Said by Carrie on Sex and the City


My two favorite nominees in one picture!

I love Dolly so much it hurts! She was robbed! I wonder if Dolly would have won had she sung about how hard it is to be a pimp?

Come on, she pimps books people!



The future Mr. Atreau working the red carpet!

George Clooney's been my oldest hollywood boyfriend, loved him since his E/R & Facts of Life days!


Sexiest Man Alive indeed! Didn't think I could love him anymore until his speech tonight. *swoons and faints* So glad that he won!

I think Wonder Woman & Batman make a perfect match! ♥

The one party that's no fun to attend is a pity party!

Instead of reaching for Origins Ginger Essence, my usual feel good fragrance. I chose to go out in All Out Ginger Mode!


The Gingerbread Man Showergel & Bubblebath $18/16 oz.

I just love Philosophy showergels! They are a real treat to use after a hard workout so I was more than pleased when this contest win which arrived two weeks ago.

This smells very similar to Origins Ginger Burst with a slightly more citrusy scent. While Ginger Burst leaves me slightly more moisturized, Gingerbread Man Showergel retails for almost half the price for double the product.

I wouldn't hesitate to replace this bottle once I run out!


Gingerbread Man Salt Scrub $25/20 oz.

If you love Origins Ginger Body Scrub, you'd love this product as both smell very similar. I have two main issues with Origins Ginger Body Scrub, the first one being that it comes packaged in a glass container. While the glass container looks pretty, it's not really feasible and it's rather unsafe in the bath/shower.

The second issue I have with Origins Ginger Body Scrub is that it's incredibly oily! Unless you love falling in the shower (which I've done on a number of occasions) this isn't an ideal product. Not only does it leave an oily film in your tub but also on your skin, yuck!

Never fear, Philosophy's Gingerbread Man comes packaged in a plastic container and is oil free!


The Gingerbread Man Body Soufflé $15/3.5 oz.

The rest of Philosophy's Gingerbread Man line seems to meet or exceed that of Origins Ginger line except when it comes to body soufflé!

Origins Ginger Soufflé is one of my absolute favorite products on the market. If I were forced to use only ten products out of my entire collection, this would be one of them!

Philosophy's Gingerbread Man Soufflé has a lot more citrus than Origins Ginger soufflé but it seems to be mixed along with a bit of a sour milk scent. Granted the scent of Philosophy's Gingerbread Man Soufflé does get slightly better in time.

I don't know if Gingerbread Man Soufflé is currently discontinued but I saw it packaged along with the other products in the Gingerbread Man line during the holiday season.

BPAL Gingerbread Poppet $16/ 5 ml

I ordered Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab's "BPAL" Gingerbread Poppet unsniffed back in December which was part of the limited edition Yule line. Described on the site as: Warm, cozy gingerbread spiced with nutmeg, clove and cinnamon.

Sounds wonderful right? In the bottle it really is but things change once it's on the skin.

While the spice is there, it's much sweeter than I expected. Wearing it, I feel like a walking Yankee Candle. Not necessarily a bad thing but it isn't what I was going for!

I don't regret purchasing this but don't think I'd replace it as I think this would work out much better as a room fragrance.

Spice World $8.99

You can't go into All Out Ginger Mode without watching the critically acclaimed Spice World which features Geri Halliwell better known as "Ginger Spice."

As much as I try, I can't stay depressed while watching Spice World! Sometimes it does require multiple viewings but in the end, it's an automatic guarantee to feeling much better!

"When you are feeling, sad and low,

We will take it, we gotta go,

Smiling dancing, everything is free,

All you need is positivity,

Colors of the world, Spice up your life,

Every boy and every girl, Spice up your life,

People of the world, Spice up your life,

Ahhhhhhh!"