I've got issues, serious issues with the chip! The chocolate chip that is.
I decided to send Keeter some cookies as she posted wanting some milk and white chocolate chip oatmeal cookies sprinkled with mini M&M's.
First I asked her if she liked her cookies with pecans. As the pecan is the state nut of Texas I couldn't add any other type of nut - what would that say about me!
Well, Keeter's philosophy is that nuts don't belong in cookies! What kind of philosophy is that? What is the state nut of Colorado anyway? I know that the state flower is the Columbine and because they joined the union in 1886, they are the "Centennial State."
Anyhow back to my chippish issues, so I'm going through all the steps of cookie making and then I get to the final step where one adds the chips.
So I bought Ghirardelli milk and white chocolate chips. I open up the bag of milk chocolate chips and poured it in. All of the sudden I realize that these are no normal sized chips - these are huge! Two or three times bigger than the normal size.
I then open up the bag of white chocolate chips and realize they are normal sized! Panic and fear took residence in my heart. I couldn't just fish out the milk chocolate chips as they were already in the batter.
So I added the white chocolate chips and continued baking.
The whole time I'm cussing out Ghirardelli! Motherfuckingbastards for not making it more clear that the milk chocolate chips were jumbo sized!
What if I were in a national "Bake-off" competition and I was making Great-Grandmother Agnes' milk and white chocolate chip oatmeal cookies sprinkled with mini M&M's that she carried on her back from the old country centuries ago and I'm up for grand prize and this fiasco occurs.
Now for every bite Keeter will get about half a milk chocolate chip for every one white chocolate chip.
I hope she doesn't feels panic and fear while eating these cookies a la "Like Water For Chocolate."
In case this trial goes to court, I kept the bags for evidence. I really should have sectioned off the entire crime scene but I had to mail off the cookies!