Tuesday, June 27, 2006



WW: Ugh, it's been a long time. So, I started my six week challenge three weeks ago and how have I done?

Well, the first week I lost 1.6 lbs - Yay!

Weeks two and three, I gained a total of 1.2 lbs - Ugh!

What happened?

Honestly, I started out with the best of intentions on those weeks - I really did. But good intentions mean nothing if there isn't follow through!

Yesterday, I spent a lot of time on the Weight Watchers site looking up recipes, try new things. Next weigh in, there will be some positive results!

SI: Since last injuring myself, I've really managed to gain ground on this front. I had mentioned to some friends how this was the first year my body had been for the most part injury free. In years past, I'd always have some time of injury and never fully allowed myself to heal. I think being injury free has lowered my tolerance for physical pain so when I last injured myself, one injury in particular took longer to heal and I zoomed into that one injury, obsessed with it. Re-thinking my actions and what lead up to injuring myself.

What scares me the most is when I think about getting older and continuing on this path, there just isn't any light heading down this road if I don't get this under control. What seems so normal to me, isn't - deep down I know it isn't but at my lowest, it seems like the only option I have.

I've given up far too much control of my life being a self injurer. So often I believed that my actions haven't had much of an effect on others, that by being an self injurer - I'm only injuring myself. But I'm finding out how much it hurts those around me as well.

The past two weeks, things have been really good for me but really bad for those I love.

In the second week of my six week challenge, I felt tested when my Dad was hospitalized twice, nothing major but not really minor either. - I mean honestly, anytime anyone goes into the hospital it's not a good thing, unless they are there to have a baby. -

I managed to turn all the negative stress into a positive and started on a major project in trying to minimize the clutter and really clean up and organize the entire house. It's a project I've been meaning to start for a while and am really proud of what I've accomplished thus far.

In little ways, I'm changing! Back to the road of positivity!

I felt a load of relief when week three started and my Dad was feeling much better!

Then we got the worst news of all when a week ago, my sister Sarah's friend Monet was murdered.

Last Monday (06/19), I had asked Sar about Monet and how she was doing (as she had been applying for a new job) and Sar mentioned that Monet was set to start a new job on Friday (06/16). She mentioned that it was really strange that she couldn't get ahold of Monet, they were supposed to have dinner together that Friday but when Monet tried calling her, she couldn't hear her due to bad reception. They tried calling each other back but still couldn't hear anything. Sar then received a text message from Monet canceling on dinner which Sar found really odd but didn't worry too much.

Sar called Monet everyday from Saturday (06/17) through Monday (06/19) and left messages for Monet to call her back, by Sunday - Sar was worried. On Tuesday morning, (06/20) Sar called Monet but Monet's message box was full.

Tuesday night Sar received a phone call from a co-worker mentioning that Monet's name was mentioned on the news regarding an apartment fire and possible murder associated with it.

The timeline of the events make no sense as it's been reported that Monet's car was missing on Tuesday (06/13) and reported stolen by a family member on Saturday (06/17). Monet was reported missing on Sunday evening (06/18) and on Monday afternoon (06/19) her apartment was set on fire and a body was found in her apartment. Hours after the fire, Monet's car was involved in a rollover accident. The person driving the car was taken in on a parole violation and questioned.

The media first reported that the apartment belonged to Monet but didn't mention whose body was found until positive identification could be made. It was announced on Thursday (06/22) that the body found was indeed Monet's.

This was the last update on the case found through the Denver Post.

There are more questions than answers at this point and at this point and nobody has been charged with Monet's murder, they haven't even named a suspect.

Whoever killed Monet destroyed everything material she possessed, everything physical was destroyed. There was nothing left, even her cats were killed in the fire. What kind of a person does that?

Such a loss on the world, Monet lived such a short life and while her name may not have been famous her actions and spirit speak volumes of the person she was and will continue to ripple on. She was such a passionate person and believed strongly in her faith. She had overcome so much and had really had the world ahead of her. This isn't supposed to happen to a person like her.

Monet was buried today, hopefully in the days to come certain questions will be answered and justice will be served.

It's so awful, I honestly don't know how Sar's able to function. I can't even imagine how I'd react but I can guarantee it wouldn't be a positive reaction. I've often said that the women in my family are incredibly, overwhelmingly strong and Sar is no exception.

Oh, what an awful thing to have happen! I am so sorry for your sister and her friend's family. It must have been such a terrible shock. Death is enough of a shock without it happening in such a violent way. I hope they get whoever did this soon.
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