Wednesday, March 01, 2006


WW: You cannot find peace by avoiding life.

I've been into major avoidance mode lately because I've been feeling rather stressed.

Part of me is so incredibly super excited to be at this point where I'm down fifty! I feel unstoppable, indestructible and a little like going up to strangers and saying "Don't touch me because baby, I'm on fire!" I'm walking around with my head in the clouds because I'm open and ready for what happens next.

The other part of me is hardcore freaking out! I'm so disappointed as I feel like it's taken me forever to get to this point! I keep thinking that I should know better by now, like I should instantly be able to tell the difference with food measurements and know how many points each item contains. I still have so much to work on and it seems like it's too much. I feel like my soul is black and my heart is empty. That I'm never going to have control over any of this and I can't handle it - any of it! Ugh! Seriously, what happens next?

I only lost .2 lbs this week which is nearly nothing and here's what Weight Watchers said on the matter:

If you're feeling a little neutral about your weight-loss result, here's a little fact to make you smile: The rate you`re losing weight at is considered to be very safe and healthy. So you're seeing success! You're doing the right thing.

Remember this anonymous saying this week: "Feel pride in how far you've come and confidence in where you're going."

I know that I'm just being a major drama queen and all out big baby about the situation and in all honesty my dilemma is so incredibly minor compared to others but it's still MY dilemma!

And MY dilemma still has to be dealt with by ME!

*sobs* I just feel like I can't handle this anymore and I'm not quite ready to move onto the next step. I know that I have to move on, and deep in my heart I know that things will be better for me once I move on but I'm not ready for it!

It's times like this where where I get into avoidance mode and want to pause time until I'm ready to move on. Then I focus on a specific quote from The Hours "You cannot find peace by avoiding life."

Ready or not, here is where I take another step toward finding my peace.

(((Sand))) Whatever you decide to do, and *whenever* you decide to take your next step, please know that we love you and will do what we can to support you!

You are really an inspiration, and you have done SO much already! If it's time, it's time. If not, goodness knows you've accomplished a great deal already! No need to rush things.

I second everything T said above. You have accomplished so much, and I truly admire you for your attitude and determination. You have many people who love and support you no matter what. Take the steps when you are ready. I am proud of you!
50 pounds!!!! That's a lot, Sand! You should be so proud. BTW, many of my friends feel the same way as you right now...I think it's the end of Winter blues. You need sunshine and you'll feel much better. Spring is just around the corner so hang in there.
I don't know where you started from, but take your current loss as a percentage of your original weight - it should make you feel more positive. For example, if you began at 250 lbs, 50 lbs is TWENTY PERCENT of your body weight! That is a LOT of weight. Also, you are re-adjusting everything about how your body works - the slower it comes off, the more likely it will stay off. HUGE accomplishment - don't give up!
You have accomplished SO much. Please give yourself credit for this. xoxo
Hi Atreau
I'm sorry for writing here on your post but darn it I can't find your Contact/Email link.

Just wondering you would like to exchange links. Please let me know what you think.

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