¡Ombligo!

Contest wins this year haven't been as fabulous as in year's past but I just won the most fabulous prize ever - a year's subscription to Netflix! Yay!

This is seriously the most awesome thing ever as I love, love, love movies! In college my friends and I would rent a ton of movies as we only had to pay fifty cents a rental. To top that off, every week the student paper would run a movie trivia contest and the prizes were movies from Miramax - I won every time. You know how songs easily recall memories? Well, for me and college - it's all about movies!

I plan on only watching the movies when I'm on the treadmill, to further motivate myself to exercise.

So far I've added a bunch of documentaries to my queue, several foreign films, a few blockbusters and of course - all of the Pippi movies!

I LOVE Pippi! As a kid, I had all of the books and was obsessed with the movies. Long live Villa Villakulla! Annika is still one of my favorite names in the world and is a serious top contender as a name if I someday have a daughter.

Pippi Longstocking is one of the many, many reasons why all Swedish things are awesome!

Seriously, don't even get me started on my love of ABBA. *sigh*

Jem ring

Remember Jem? Glamour and glitter, fashion and fame! Jem is truly outrageous....? This ring reminds me of Jem. Anytime I wear this ring I'm going to say "Showtime, Synergy!" and wait to transform.


flawed bag

I loved the fabric on this bag so much and considered it a steal as it was sale priced because of a minor flaw. Can you spot the flaw?

Check out the birds, they're upside down! The fabric was sewn upside down but instead of diminishing the appeal of the bag I think it adds character! My bag is flawed like me! :)

50's Horseshoe Rhinestone Necklace /$35

This is the final necklace from my Miss. Misa Jewelry Subscription. I've been really happy with all the selections thus far but am a bit unsure if I'll subscribe again as I haven't been wearing necklaces lately. Life would be so much easer if I had an actual neck instead of the head and shoulders bit I sport.

Remember when Barbie was struck down with broken neck syndrome and you'd push down her head all down to somehow salvage her? That's what I look like!

Bargain shoppers take note - the three month subscription is $36 and includes shipping for 3 necklaces. The necklace shown above is $35 alone and does not include shipping - that's extra. I may not have much of a neck but I do have a bit of a brain when it comes to bargain shopping!

Carnival Ring

I first found out about Brokedown Barn through Crafters for Critters as they had donated a handful of awesome items including this awesome Bird on a Limb Necklace which I thought was the most awesome thing ever until I set my eyes on this Carnival Ring. I ran to their website where they had even more incredible jewelry and that's when I fell in love with the Carnival Ring you see above. The only thing that stopped me from buying it right away was the price, $85 so I kept my love for it on the backburner with the hope that it would one day go on sale - the day came and I caved!

You can see more Brokedown Barn gems here:

Brokedown Barn Jewelry

Brokedown Barn through Crafters for Critters - All proceeds from Crafters for Critters are donated to animal rescue organizations.

Attention please to the gods and goddesses of blessings - please, please, please grant me a sale on the Holly Cruise Sweety Cakes Rings! ♥

*groans*

So, in the past two weeks I've managed to add on 1.2 lbs back on my body. I gained .4lbs last week and .8lbs this week. I'd love to say it wasn't all my fault as the treadmill was down for over a week until a service person was able to fix it - turns I (being the only one who uses the treadmill) wore down the bolt.

You'd think as soon as the treadmill was fixed I'd jump right on it and get back to the level I was working at but no, - instead I got lazy and used that time to feast on turkey burgers and guacamole! I love guacamole but it sure doesn't love me, freakin'crapbastardguacamolefromhell!

For a while there I was eating a lot less meat which no doubt helped move the scale a lot so for this week I'm going to try more vegetarian meals and hopefully get back to where I was.

Anyhow, last week I was talking to my sister and asking her what she had found out about her thalassemia as she went to see a Hematologist and had more specialized tests done. It was assumed that she had Alpha version (which is found in Asians) because my mom's got it and her dad was from China - I mean - boom, boom, boom...right?

Ah, not so fast - turns out my sister's got the Beta version (the Mediterranean one)! Now, we've always known we were mixed and going back a few generations, our ancestors have come from different continents but not once had any Mediterranean ancestry come up!

Crap! While some people are left with a hearty chunk of an inheritance once their ancestors pass on, our ancestors left us with this lousy genetic disorder!

Seriously, these have got to be some massive turbo genes and the odds are so slim, so very slim for them to have been carried so far but they have been. Anyhow I'm going to be tested for it in September as I previously thought that the odds of me having it were slim to none but now with this revelation I'm not too sure.

SI: I'm trying to let go of the little things and not let those little things build up but what I really need to work on is being more vocal when things bother me, instead I become incredibly non-confrontational and withdraw. And not just withdraw from those with whom I have issues with but do a complete life withdrawal - calls become unreturned, e-mails go answered and the list goes on.

You know that episode of Friends where they find out what makes Fun Bobby so fun - the fact that he's an alcoholic and is only "fun" when he's inebriated.

That's what I feel like, as though things were somewhat better when I was injuring myself as I'd pretend that certain issues didn't affect me and I was more easy going toward others and life in general. Which I know sensibly is an unhealthy attitude but somehow it made sense to me so I was really trying to get over this thought when I got a call from one of my best friends who I had been avoiding for a while as I've been trying to get my life in order.

She went though similar trauma in her childhood and had adopted unhealthy coping mechanisms as well - different from mine but still negative. Anyhow, for a while now she has been seeking help in how to deal with her issues. The last time we talked things were going really great for her and she was in a really great place. All of the sudden a series of events come crashing down on her and she's pushed all the way back in the game of life.

All this time I've been saying that I'm so not at where I envisioned myself to be at this age, nowhere near where I thought I'd be and she shared that she too wasn't where she expected to be given her recent circumstances. One thing that has provided her comfort is the fact that she has now been given the tools to deal with her current situation in a healthy way because she knows how she would have dealt with her current situation in the past and it would have pushed her even farther back than where she is now so in the mean time she needs to suck it up and rebuild herself to move forward.

So, I need to suck it up and rebuild to move forward and I can't move forward until I've overcome these issues because I want to be able to deal with situations in a healthy way when life comes crashing down.

Ugh, I wish life was easier! Why can't I just wear a sign that says "Girl's got issues!" so that people can nod their heads and walk away? *sobs*

Kate Spade iPod case/$23.00

So, Neiman Marcus is having their Scent Event in which you get a tote filled with samples with any order for $85 and above.

I've received the tote bag before which is a MAJOR disappointment in comparison to the famous Barneys' gift bag but if you're wanting to purchase something that isn't normally discounted, say Serge Lutens for example - this would be an excellent opportunity to pick up a bottle and get a little something extra.

May I suggest my personal favorite A La Nuit?

Also, Neiman Marcus is having a sale going on where you can pick up excellent bargains on iPod cases by Kate Spade, Juicy Couture and a handful of other lines.

Free shipping until 05/15 with code: NMSALE.
Also, if you go through Ebates you'll earn a 2% rebate on your purchase.

Plush cell phone bed/$9.99 at Fred Flare

I had my eye on this bed for a while and finally ordered as I want to be more organized. I expected it to be smaller but am glad that it isn't because both my cell phone and iPod fit inside.

Those cute little slippers are included as they serve a purpose as well, they're screen cleaners! Man, San-X is awesome!

Up until a week ago I had no interest in reading The Da Vinci Code. No interest at all, I didn't even want to see the movie!

Last week, I was entering contests and stumble across the Da Vinci Code Quest On Google Contest and the first challenge involved is sudoku inspired game.



Now, I had heard of sudoku but again had no interest in it and had never played it before. Come to find out it's the most awesome thing ever! Seriously, I think I'm a bit of a sudoku addict now.

As I advanced with the game I start thinking that the book doesn't sound so bad so I read it. Actually, I didn't read, read it. I uploaded the abridged audio version of it to my ipod and listened to it.

*sobs* I totally caved and became so typical, like everyone else! What next!?!? Am I going to suddenly become a Michael Bublé fan? *sobs*

This is the beginning of the end!

Anyhow, I thought the book kinda sucked so I'm glad I didn't actually read, read it. *sigh* Yeah, I'm probably going to see the movie when it comes out.

Did the bad guy really have to be a self injurer with a pigment problem. I know, I know, not totally the same thing as it was self injury for religious reasons but still - a bit too close to home.

French actress Carole Bouquet, the face of Chanel No. 5 perfume, poses in a field of jasmine. Image: © Marianne Rosenstiehl/Sygma/Corbis. Date Photographed: September 1996

I don't know what it is but I always feel a bit fancy when I wear Chanel No. 5. Maybe it's because of the famous Marilyn Monroe quote or the fact that I get this image in my head of dressing up and going out like women did in the '50's. Maybe it's just the aldehydes?

Maybe? I seriously do get an image of dressing up and going out though, dressing up in a lovely black dress and accessorizing myself with pearls. It's a fantasy really because I look quite drab in black and am not really much of a pearl girl but Chanel No. 5 gives me that feeling, like I can pull it off.

Regardless, I do love Chanel No. 5 but don't wear it nearly enough. I don't really know why, it's one I should wear more often but don't. Maybe because it's so common, so easily recognized.

Anyhow, the notes. What are the notes? According to Osmoz the notes in Chanel No. 5 are:

Top: Aldehydes, Bergamot, Lemon, Neroli
Middle: Jasmine, Rose, Lily of the valley, Orris
Bottom: Vetiver, Sandal, Vanilla, Amber

Neroli, really? I didn't know it had neroli! I'm not a big fan of neroli but I can't detect it and honestly who could under the aldehydes? I understand why people don't like this fragrance, because it's heavy in aldehydes but I happen to like aldehydes in fragrances! There is a mere whisper of citrus in this fragrance, which were moredetectablee when I paired it with Bliss Vanilla & Bergamot body butter.

The floral notes are more evident in the heat, at times the rose is a bit stronger than the jasmine on me. I don't get the lily of the valley at all but do get a tinge of the orris. I also can't detect any vetiver and the sandalwood is very soft on me. More vanilla and amber than anything else in the bottom notes, but still rather light.

The staying power is incredible on me, it really clings to fabric as well. The other day I wore it to bed and when I woke up, the scent was all over my body pillow. Such a gorgeous fragrance, I really should wear it more!

This is in reference to the Eau de Parfum which retails for $80/1.7 oz or $110/3.4 oz. I also have the Body Lotion and the Bath Gel which are beyond fabulous.

I've been meaning to buy the After Bath Powder as I'm a powder addict but have yet to cave on it.


I know, I know Nicole Kidman is the new face of Chanel No. 5 but I'm not a big fan of hers and don't you think Carole Bouquet's campaign is much prettier?

Not to mention I'm a huge, huge, huge Baz fan and still chose this one over his.

I woke up this morning not thinking I lost much weight and was prepared not to be too disappointed with the number once I stepped on the scale. I looked at the number and knew I had lost some weight from last week but how much from last week I wasn't sure as I try not to concentrate too much on the number from week to week. This was the message I got when I logged in my weight:

THANKS for logging your weight. You've lost weight since you last visited the weight tracker. You must feel pleased that those pounds are coming off!

However, we notice that you've lost more than an average of 2 pounds per week over three or more weeks. This rate is too rapid it may be unsafe or unhealthy.

While we're proud of your achievements and pleased you're making changes in your life, we need you to concentrate on one more thing: You should slow the pace of your weight loss to no more than 2 pounds per week.

I was a bit surprised at that message as it's not like I lost a massive amount of weight from last week to this one, it was 2.4 lbs people! Add to that I couldn't find my focus withexercisee until later in the week!

Ugh, seriously! I ate really well this past week and have concentrated on more fresh fruits and vegetables than anything else but it wasn't like I was starving myself. Far from it, this Saturday I went to a Middle Eastern festival and was lax on my points for that one day. I didn't go overboard, but I wasn't exactly choosing the most healthy options either.

I don't get it, weeks where I'm busting my ass I lose so little weight and this one week where I was rather lax on my concentration, I lose a chunkfull?!?!

That's total crap!

I have some bad news concerning exercisee, I was on the treadmill last night when it started going wonky on me and threw me off. I wasn't hurt and it was toward the end of my workout so all wasn't lost. Looks like a screw broke and that threw thetreadmilll belt off so it's all messed up! I have to place a service call to have it repaired so that's out ofcommissionn for the time being. Guess I'll have to focus on weight training for this week. That sucks!

SI: I've been making good progress on this front, as well as can be expected. For minor issues, breathe therapy is helping me a lot and really concentrating on letting things go. There was one instance this past week where circumstances got a bit overwhelming and I was afraid of falling back into routine but I was able to work through it.

I'm at the point where my weight loss is more apparent but I'm more proud of the progress I've made with SI as it's more internal than external so people don't know how far I've come on that front. I know that I still have a long way to go, but deep down inside I know I can do it!

So, it's May and I have a little over two months until my birthday. I don't know, I'm in a bit of a slump and some days are so much easier than others. I had hoped to focus this month on facing my fears of driving but am going to have to postpone until next month. That wasn't an easy decision to make as my entire goal was to enter a new decade having faced and/or conquered my fears. I honestly thought I'd be at a better place by now and am not, nowhere near it. The last couple of weeks have really shown my vulnerability and I want to move onto the next step when I'm better prepared.

Now, onto the weight loss...Well, I stepped on the scale Monday and found out I lost .6 lbs. I was rather surprised as I had worked hard all last week and was really focused. I was hoping for at least a pound lost as everything is in check so far. *rolls eyes* Whatever!

I've been really good at my eating habits and am starting to get it. Like it's finally starting to click where I'm automatically making healthier choices - of course there is still a lot of work to be done but I'm starting to get it...finally. I'm making better decisions on what to eat and how much - really, I can now serve myself smaller portions and not feel totally deprived.

One thing that I've been having problems with this week is my focus on exercise. I don't know what it is but for some reason I just couldn't find my focus and was rather lax about exercise the last few days. Today I woke up feeling just awful (both physically and mentally) so I spent an intense hour on the treadmill.

I felt incredible afterwards, exhausted but exhilarated! Felt good to finally find my focus for the week - even if it was so late in the week.

SI: Ah, last week was relatively good as I was on a high after last week's weigh in and really focused on how good that felt. I've been focusing a lot on breathe therapy, I've also moved on to making a fist with both hands. It's like I'm trying to hold all the stress and tension in my fists while I breathe to bring me down and as I open my hands, I let go of all that negativity.

The other day they were talking about self injurers on Good Morning America and my heart just sank. They were talking about self injurers who go online to seek other ways of injuring themselves, there are communities where users even upload pictures of their injuries. I was honestly surprised as I'm well aware of the communities for self injurers seeking help but didn't know there were communities in which the sole purpose is is to descend deeper into self injury. I'm not sure what communities they were referring to as it was a relatively short report but I know how easy it is to pick up ideas when you're that vulnerable.

My mom is the one person that I've tried many times to have her understand my issues with self injury without much success. Less than two weeks ago, I think I made a little progress - not quite in her understanding of it but more my declaration of it. As I mentioned before, it was something that was well known in my household growing up but never mentioned. There is still a lot of work that needs to be done there but I think it's more work that needs to be done on my end rather than others understanding of it. I can't force people to understand it when I can't quite fully understand it myself.