¡Ombligo!

This past week was rough, maybe it's because my patience is wearing thin or PMS or possibly a combination of the two but it was very rough.

There was a lot of temptation to eat unhealthy, especially this past weekend but I stuck to my plan as I was really hoping to see positive results and it worked!

I lost two pounds this week, exactly two pounds! Right before I stepped on the scale I told myself to be satisfied with one down if it was at least one but seeing the scale read two down was exactly what I needed.

I've really been watching what I eat and only allowed myself one meal to let myself go - sometimes I don't exactly watch how much I'm eating, especially on weekends. I changed up my exercise routine and have added strength training to my workout - building on it slowly and am incredibly sore but it helped me out this week and kept my energy up!

Next week I have to go in for bloodwork and a checkup, something I'm not looking forward to at all. I also have to schedule an appointment to have my eyes checked. Graves Disease really fucks up the eyes and since being diagnosed I hadn't had too many problems other than them being constantly dry but two months ago I noticed that my vision is getting really bad and at times blurry which could be in cause by Graves but blurry vision is also a symptom of diabetes.

Diabetes is like my kryptonite, I can't deal with that shit. It runs on my maternal side with my Grandmother and Mom being diagnosed with it, granted they were much older than I am now. After being diagnosed with Graves all tests came back negative for diabetes then but I think it would be a good idea to be tested again just to make sure. I talked to my sister about my worries and when I told her that I really couldn't handle being diagnosed as diabetic she told me "Why not? You eat healthy and exercise!"

Which is a good point but ugh, what a shitty disease that not only wreaks havoc on your body but you have to test your blood twice a day. That's something I just don't think I could handle, I'm severely hemophobic. Seriously,deathly afraid of blood, even the word freaks me out. Honestly, I would get so sick learning about the circulatory system in school. The only reason that I've never been able to cross over into being a cutter is because of my fear of blood.

I have never been able to donate blood because my fear is so extreme. When I was a senior in high school my English teacher offered an automatic "A" on any test to anyone who donated blood. I was the only one in my class who didn't donate. Guilt consumes me constantly and I hope I am never in a position where I would need donated blood as I don't think I'll ever get over this fear.

At this point I'm thinking the worst and won't know until I'm tested. At least I'm being pro-active about it and have admitted to the fact that I need to be tested. If it comes back positive I deal with it which I honestly don't think I can, if not, I do everything to prevent it.

Seriously, this shit is bananas!

I have always hated the look of fingerless gloves, they look so abnormal and out of place and I honestly never thought I'd own a pair.

Until the reality of the colder weather approaching got me thinking as not only does my eczema flare up during cold weather but my hands turn into ice. It is so hard to type wearing gloves so I had been searching for a cute pair of fingerless gloves and found these fingerless gloves.

They are adorable and if you have to look ugly, you should at least look pretty ugly!

What attracted me to them was not only the design but that they were made of such soft wool. Good quality wool isn't itchy and I shouldn't have any problems once my eczema is at its worse as anything rubbing against cracked skin is incredibly painful.

I love them so much that I've placed a custom order for another pair.

These pretty ugly fingerless gloves were $8.50 and purchased through loveyourbagdesigns.etsy.com.

DOXY is described as a darkly fruity blend of blackberry, spice & all things VICE...

Juicy blackberries burst with warm hints of ginger, a sprinkle of cinnamon and musky vanilla. The freshness of bergamot whispers of more innocent times, but the richly aromatic, intensely carnal note of vetiver has its wicked way at last...

The etymology of Doxy: DOXY is a slang term that underwent a transformation from meaning 'doll' and 'little bundle', to 'wench' or 'sweetheart' - a term of endearment from a lover; to 'loose, licentious woman' or 'prostitute'. Typical! You must decide which of the definitions best suits you, my doxies. ;-)

Beyond the Pale's perfumes are hand-blended using pure, natural ingredients wherever possible, and the recipes are uniquely based on historic perfumes found in old Victorian journals and passed down through the generations.

I first mentioned Beyond the Pale back in June when I reviewed Mollisher's Mark. Several few weeks ago they had a pre-sale opportunity for full sized bottles so I put my order in for two bottles of Mollisher's Mark and also ordered Doxy and Flummery unsniffed.

I just adore spicy fragrances and Doxy sounded right up my alley as it combines spices and blackberries and I was hoping that it would be more of those notes and less of the others.

What does it actually smell like? Well, to be honest when I first applied it I hated it, it put me in a foul mood. I can't pinpoint what it is that I don't like about the initial application as I get a hint of plastic doll and cough syrup mixed together. That scent doesn't last long thankfully.

I really wanted this fragrance to have depth and found that it hits that peak an hour after application. The blackberry is the strongest of the notes, more of a deep berry scent than a fresh one. The spices are subtle and more evident up close to the skin. I would have liked the spices a bit stronger but don't feel that it's totally lacking in that category either. The sweetness of the scent is impacted by the vanilla but it isn't overly sweet.

The bergamot gets stronger as the blackberry slowly dissipates. Bergamot is one of those notes that I don't mind in small quantities, in theory I would have liked less of it in here but it really adds more depth to the fragrance.

The vetiver makes it's strongest appearance several hours after the initial application. By then, the other notes are mere hints. I had hoped that this would be more of a cold weather fragrance but the vetiver really makes it more suited to warmer weather.

The staying power of Doxy is very good as I could smell it on my skin the following morning and the scent is still evident on a blanket I used days ago.

I'm mixed on if I'd re-purchase this as I really love the scent when the berries and spices are at their height but find the rest of the fragrance a bit lacking.

Doxy retails for £9.99 and is available through Beyond The Pale.

I originally tested Jessica Simpson's Dessert Beauty line when it was released two years ago. I felt that the products were ridiculous overpriced but made a note that the Juicy line was my favorite of the original three scents offered.

I won't front you now, I'll admit it. I recently bought a Jessica Simpson fragrance! Yeah, I bought Juicy!

I blame this on Kate Beckensale mind you as I read in In Style I believe that she keeps it on her nightstand - well, she was referring to a different scent but still it's from the same line. I put all the blame on her!

Do I lose some street cred now? Wait, it gets worse!

Described as: Dessert is unlike any scent experience you've had before. It's sensual, seductive and it smells provocatively delicious - fresh and juicy-sweet ... with sun-ripened strawberries and succulent raspberries refreshed by a subtle bouquet of crisp green. Dessert's mission is to make you completely kissable and impossible to resist. So spray it on, and invite someone you really like to move in close.

Okay now I have a confession to make. I consider myself a pretty smart person but am known to have an occasional lapse in judgment, what could easily be described as a "Jessica Simpson moment."

I had just spent an hour on the treadmill when I started thinking about what fragrance to wear post-workout shower. I settle on the recently purchased Juicy and after the shower I'm almost gitty with excitement.

I spray it on and it hurts, it physically hurts me! I don't know what type of juice is bottled in this thing but this feels like a minor attack with a Super Soaker.

I get over it and am now covered in a sweet berry scent, it actually smells like a mixture of Strawberry and Raspberry Kool-Aid, strawberry being the stronger of the two.

So, I'm in my pajamas watching movies and feel rather sticky, granted it's been fairly humid down here so feeling sticky isn't unusual but given the fact that I've just taken a shower I shouldn't feel sticky at all.

Shrug it off and watch movies until I start getting tired. Decide to get ready for bed and do my nightly ritual of brushing my teeth and washing my face, neck and decloté .

Right as I'm about to get under the sheets I spray a little bit of Juicy onto my arms and decloté to lull me to sleep and five seconds later I feel sticky all over again.

Now, I knew that the rest of the Dessert line - the powder, cream, etc..were lickablele but had no idea that the fragrance would be as well.

Seriously, no idea! I mean I should have had some clue when I read "Kissable Fragrance" but it still didn't sink in and I seriously thought there was no way that the fragrance was lickable as well.

So, I snapped, licked my arm to verify that it was indeed the case and sure enough *bam* I get it!

Lesson learned with such a small price to pay as Juicy was only $7.99 /1.7 oz at Marshalls.

I've been 30 for a month now and things seem to be on the up so far, although I wouldn't mind my body going into turbo speed around now.

I've been having trouble sleeping lately and took a sleeping pill last night - the first one in a long time. Why is I that I always have the strangest dreams when I take sleeping pills? Anyhow, I was able to get a good night's sleep for once and woke up with a ton of energy!

Enough energy to drag my ass to the scale where it showed I lost a whopping 0.8 lbs! The way I've been eating and exercising I should have seen more improvement this week! Well, better to have lost than gained.

This was the message I got when I logged in my weight: If you're feeling a little neutral about your weight-loss result, here's a little fact to make you smile: The rate you`re losing weight at is considered to be very safe and healthy. So you're seeing success! You're doing the right thing.

Remember this anonymous saying this week: "Feel pride in how far you've come and confidence in where you're going."

Bah, I'd have more pride if the numbers on the scale would drop sooner!

Last year I relied heavily on Lean Cuisine meals for lunch and dinner as they are a much easier way to count points than to cook yourself but seeing as how I have less points to work with, I am learning how to overhaul what I eat and stick to healthier, natural cooking options. I've been sticking to mainly fresh produce with beans & legumes, low fat cheeses, egg whites and the occasional poultry and/or shrimp for added protein.

I've been trying to stick with the philosophy of eating within the season which has so far been rather successful but am really craving harvest foods and can't wait for the weather to change.

While I'm doing everything right with my eating habits - save for the occasional splurge, I'd like to see a more radical change so I'm going to try and change up my exercise routine a bit.

SI: Um, this I've not had much success with. I really don't know as I sometimes think that the desire to stop isn't as strong and the ability to do so. What gets me the most is that it's not as though I have a chemical imbalance, it's all behavioral.

Where to go from that is sometimes beyond me as it seems so easy to just stop in theory but the reality of it is that there is so much there and for years I've made myself numb through physical pain. I've sai it before as it's a temporary fix to a permanent problem that isn't going away and is something I do have to face but I just don't think I can face it now.

I want so much to be free of it but at what price as when I try to tackle both addictions at once, I don't think I get very far with either one.

One day I'll have it all sorted out, just not today. Until then I can only do my best and hope it all works out in the end.

And on that note, here's my gorgeous WW ring! ♥ ♥ ♥(((T)))♥ ♥ ♥!!!

Clarins par Amour toujours

While my sister was in town we hit Marshalls and I found the last bottle of Clarins par Amour toujours. I honestly try not to buy fragrances unsniffed but I couldn't pass this one up as I remembered that rose and pink peppercorn were two notes in this scent.

What are the other notes?

According to Clarins.com:

Pink Rosebud: green and fresh, adds a touch of liveliness and spontaneity with femininity.

Pink Peppercorn and Black Currants: deliver a burst of spicy freshness.

Pink Grapefruit and Raspberry: sweet and fresh, sparkles with effervescence.

It is described as: A vibrant, floral-fruity fragrance that‚’s as sparkling and tender as childhood itself.

par Amour Toujours, a fragrance for all daughters, is vibrant, floral and fruity. It captures the love women have for life and their desire to pass this love to their daughters. Experience this happy, spontaneous fragrance like childhood laughter.

When I first spray it I can easily detect the grapefruit - now, I hate grapefruit - in fragrance and as a fruit. I hate it, it's an instant sensory memory for me.

As a kid I remember my Dad eating grapefruit a lot so I remember smelling it a lot. I was one of those kids who had chronic ear infections and when I was around four, my Doctor suggested that I had tubes placed in my ears. I remember being on the operating table and they told me to count to ten for the anesthesia to kick in and I remember it smelling like grapefruit.

I remember trying to fight it and not fall asleep, the next thing I remembered was waking up in a crib. That I was awfully upset about as I was a "big girl, not a baby!"

To sum it up, grapefruit is one of those notes I try to avoid in fragrances as it smells rather gaggity and makes me feel all out gross.

Thankfully, it starts with only the burst of grapefruit but that is soon melted into the other notes. The rose is a very fresh, light rose - rather muted. I would have liked a bolder rose but this does fine as the fragrance is very light.

I always welcome fragrances with berries and currants and am often drawn to fragrances that host those notes. The currant is bolder than the raspberries. I too would have loved for these notes to have been a bit bolder but in keeping with the inspiration for the fragrance.

The staying power of the fragrance is good, given that it's light it's one of those scents that doesn't have a lot of sillage but up close to the skin it's very evident and quite lovely.

Hours after application I can only detect grapefruit and musk - not necessarily a scent that appeals to me. I really like the rest of the scent and enjoy it much more when it's applied on skin that isn't touched my fabric as fabric retains the scent much longer than skin.

Clarins par Amour toujours retails for $40/1.7 oz. or $30/1 oz. at Gloss.com.

Man, it's been a while since I've done an update on here. Why?

My sister came into town, she needed a major cleansing to her spirit after her friend Monet was murdered so she came out here for over a week. I hadn't seen my sister in over a year and had really hoped to be farther ahead in my progress when she saw me next. I don't know, at times I have unrealisitic goals for my progress, I understand that change doesn't happen overnight but it won't stop me from wishing for it. Anyhow, It was a rather nice visit for the most part but our plans were soaked as it didn't stop raining the entire time she was here. The city was flooded on more than one day and we had to declare a state of emergency.

So, how have I done this whole time?

Well,...

on the 7/31 weigh-in I lost 0.6 lbs. That was a bummer of a weigh-in as I had really busted my ass that entire week - I ate really healthy that week and really stuck to my exercise routine. I made sure to really stick to the program this week as I knew when my sister arrived, I'd probably give into temptation on more than one occasion and I wanted to cushion any possible weight gain for the following week.

on the 8/07 weigh-in I had gained 3.4 lbs!!! Wait a second, in my defense I happened to have just started my cycle when I weighed in and am always heavier the week of my cycle due to water retention. I do have to admit that I didn't exactly stick to the WW program this week but I didn't go overboard either. I certainly could have made better decisions on my eating habits but don't really regret eating those "bad" foods. The one good thing was that I stuck to my exercise routine the entire time my sister visited, minus two days. Not bad at all!

and on the 8/14 weigh-in I lost 3.4 lbs! FREAKY! So, it's like the slate is clear and nothing happened! I ate really good this past week and have stuck to my exercise routine so I was very happy to see the numbers change on the scale.

While change is slow, I've noticed that I'm getting better at choosing healthier foods to eat and making exercise a priority in my day. That makes me happy because there are times where I felt like at any moment I could totally snap and eat a dozen cupcakes at once. While I can't keep a dozen cupcakes in the house, I can go to a bakery and order just one...on a rare occasion.

In a way it sucks that I have such an unhealthy relationship with food but at the same time I'm building a different relationship with food - one that nourishes me, sustains me.

Little by little I'm finding a better me buried underneath all this crap.